they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Will exercising make me less horny?
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