I'm really into asian looking animals
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
