I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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