I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
