I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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