it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
