For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
