Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
