Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
