In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
