If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
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We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
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well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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