I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
