youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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