Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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