We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
