Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
sarcasm needs its own font
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
