he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
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dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
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Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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