is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
