Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
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Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
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It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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