I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
