If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
