Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize