If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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