My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
