Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
