and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
