OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
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I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
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You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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