That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
