What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
