There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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