dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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