he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
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Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
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I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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