So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I enjoy the company of your penis
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
