I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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