do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I had to cum in my sink.
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