So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Someone came in the potted fern
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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