Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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