what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
