please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize