He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
