how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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