You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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