I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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