yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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