My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
dude. I can hear the air.
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