We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
