I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
