Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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