i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
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his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
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pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize