Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
