at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
