my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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