I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
