he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
