I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
