At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
