I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
