we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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