You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
