i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize