try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
