Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
