Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Randomize
