I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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