The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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