is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
